What have we been up to that’s so exciting? Well for starters we got one of the kids out of the house (YAY!)………and she moved back in (shit!)…..and she moved back out (YAY!). So yeah, Reilly is a big girl now, working a big girl job, making big girl money, with big girl responsibilities. The worst thing she did to me this year was make me go car shopping with her. We spent all day looking at cars she liked. And at the last car lot of the day I ended up buying a car for myself. What. The. Hell. Just happened? What did I ever do to deserve that kind of decision making? I still tolerate her in my life though, she babysits Nick.
In another incredible turn of events Nathan got a job (Dairy Queen). Yeah, you read that right, Nathan got a job and as he puts it, makes “mad cash”. I suppose for a single, live at yo momma’s house kind of guy he probably does make decent money. He’s actually embraced working beyond anything I expected. He frequently calls in to see if anyone no-showed or if he can otherwise pick up a shift. Although it could be the case that he’d rather be slinging burgers than stay at home getting in trouble for not doing chores. On a personal level he has been hanging out with a girl “friend” as of late which has been good for him. I guess we’ll see how that mad cash holds up.
Nicholas turned 8 this year. That means he’s still operating as a decent human being and is generally fun to be around. I dread the monster morph that happens in a few short years, although he’ll probably have it easy by then. Bernie and I will be too old to care and Nathan and Reilly will have worn us out. Doesn’t matter, I plan to ship him off to wherever they happen to be living as much as possible. He’s pretty busy though playing soccer, flag football, basketball, and doing dance. I wish someone had told me about the female-to-male ratio in dance when I was younger.
In another bout of questionable decision making we picked up a dog “for Nathan” back in April. A black lab puppy to be exact. She’s been a……I don’t know what the word is……oh wait, yes I do. She’s a pain in the ass. But the kids like her and she wags her tail and acts excited to see me which is more than I can say for the other creatures in my house.
For Bernadette it’s been an exciting year of opportunity and accomplishment. Of course she continues to get straight A’s and is on all of the honor rolls. Summa cum laude here we come! She recently joined the local yacht club and quickly rose to become a member of their board of directors. Unfortunately she has had to cut back on her volunteer hours at the homeless shelter as a result. She also decided in August that she was taking a break from doing any housework and that we had too much money in savings. She announced her decision by breaking her right leg (spiral fractured tibia, non-displaced fibula). All seriousness aside, she did not enjoy one-legged life. Fortunately (or maybe unfortunately), I was able to do quite a bit of work from home to help out. And clean. And do kid shit. And clean. Not to be outdone, and because titanium rods are cheap these days, Nathan fell out of his friend’s truck and broke his wrist. I got so I was on a first name basis with the orthopedic staff.
I didn’t write a letter last year (YAY!) so I now bring you random things from 2015. Bernadette and I took a trip to Mexico for her 40th birthday. I learned that mistranslating is a great way to negotiate.
Me: ¿cuánto cuesta? Seller: ciento cincuenta (150) Me (to Bernie): 55! Seller: (annoyed grunt) cien? (100)And before you ask, no I don’t speak Spanish. I know just enough to do dumb things like ask how much something costs but not understand the answer.
In June (still in 2015 if you can’t keep up) Reilly graduated from high school. We had a party for her and then we started collecting rent. It was glorious. I should charge everyone in my house rent, including the dog. Later that summer Nathan got his driver’s license. I don’t have anything more to say about that…it’s not even that interesting, just need to fill space yo.
Somewhere in between some friends from my grad school years paid us a visit on their return trip from Alaska. It was great to see them however short the visit was. I keep hoping another (nameless) grad school friend will visit sometime but he went and sexed a bunch of kids into existence so I’m not holding my breath.
We also took separate fall vacations with Bernie and Nick going to Disneyland and Nathan and I heading to Montana to hunt for deer. Both were successful trips, Nick got himself some souvenirs and Nathan got himself some deer. Reilly couldn’t participate, she had to work (gotta make mad cash to pay those mad bills). She kind of hates adulthood.
This letter is starting to drift towards insanely boring. That is my cue. Adios.
Play Freebird!
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